Individual Therapy for Setting Boundaries in Chicago, IL

Feeling drained and overwhelmed by interactions with others is getting old. You keep giving so much of your time and energy to others and feeling resentful as a result. You promise yourself you’ll do it differently next time. But next time comes around, and it’s just as hard. There’s almost always a valid reason for why you have to do this thing, say yes again, show up again, even when you need something else.

Family, friends, co-workers, bosses… When you say “no” to them or set boundaries in other ways, people don’t always get it. They’re not hearing you, or they push back on the boundary. It might sound like: “But are you sure you can’t come?” or “But, I really need your help with this. Please.” You keep trying, but it’s not clicking.

You’ve read some books. Talked with friends. Followed a handful of helpful Instagram or TikTok accounts that post about this stuff.

You thought boundaries were supposed to help, but you’re feeling guilty and exasperated instead. If this sounds relatable to you, it might be time to meet with an online therapist.

Setting Boundaries in Relationships is Hard

I won’t lie to you. Setting boundaries can be incredibly hard. But it’s easier with support. Individual therapy for setting boundaries in relationships can help.

Working with an online therapist in Illinois can provide perspective, support, and validation for the struggle when setting boundaries starts to feel hard. Most people in our lives don’t like change. Especially if they’re used to us showing up in a certain way. They’re not wrong or bad people for this; it’s just part of how change works in relationships. It takes time. Some people will not honor or understand your boundaries, no matter how hard you try.

All types of relationships can benefit from boundaries. Relationships with a spouse, relative, friend, colleague, and more. Support from a professional trained in individual therapy and relationship therapy can help you:

1. Identify where boundaries can be beneficial

2. Create realistic, incremental action steps for change

3. Reduce stress and resentment.

Reasons to Begin Individual Therapy for Setting Boundaries

Setting and maintaining boundaries in relationships isn’t always easy. Struggles with boundaries can look like this:

• Avoiding communication with certain people because you don’t want to feel exhausted or resentful afterward

• People-pleasing. You keep putting others’ needs first!

• Difficulty saying no (and feeling anxious, guilty, or over-thinking when you do)

• Feeling RESENTFUL, DRAINED, ANNOYED, or NOT-ENOUGH more often than you’d like in your relationships

• This nagging feeling that you’re taking on other people’s “stuff” too much.

• Want to feel more in control of your time and energy

• The desire for more balance and reciprocity in your life and close relationships

Learn How to Say No and When to Say Yes

I’ve seen my clients become more trusting of themselves and their needs through therapy. They identify ways to clearly set boundaries with others so that they can protect their own energy and time. This also means learning how to say no (or “let me think about it”) and when to say yes. People feel more confident in the peace and space they’ve created for themselves by doing the work of maintaining their boundaries. It translates to more energy for their relationships.

I’m hopeful that individual therapy for setting boundaries will help you experience the same kind of benefits and insight.

My Approach to Therapy for Boundaries in Chicago, IL

As a relationship therapist, I tailor therapy to your needs, goals, and specific relationship struggles. I incorporate strategies from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), self-compassion, and resources relevant to boundaries in relationships. Boundary work can be hard, which is why I balance gentleness and compassion with helping you push yourself outside of your comfort zone to try things differently. You might not know which boundaries to set, but just that something is NOT working—that’s common! We’ll start there.

We’ll work together to explore what kind of boundaries you need and want (WHY they will help you), and how to set them. If setting boundaries saying the words is hard, we’ll figure out what can make it a little easier. We’ll explore the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that keep you from acting on what you need. You’ll learn how to navigate people’s responses to your boundaries. As well as learning how to communicate and repeat your boundaries clearly and directly, with kindness when needed. All with support and space to reflect on the process in therapy.

Questions about this service or my practice? Contact me here.